Who Am I?

"Who am I?"

The question enters,

Lingers,

Drills into my soul,

Cries out for an answer.

I stare at the mirror.

Somewhere,

Inside the reflection,

"Me" hides.

Who am I?

What defines me?

Emotions? Please God, no.

Fluctuating in form and size

Like clouds darting across life's sky;

Not to be trusted.

Thoughts?

Battling inside me,

Sensible one day, ridiculous the next.

Desires?

Unruly, impatient,

Struggling beneath the hands of will and reason.

My past?

A herd of memories,

Some pleasant,

Others, looming shadows.

Panic grips me.

Everything inside, stained with self,

Shrugs.

If this is me…

I can't bear the thought.

I look away.

My heart jumps--He is here,

Smiling,

Hands outstretched,

Hope in His eyes.

And then I know.

The question releases its choking grip.

Sweet freedom!

A lightness floods me

Like sunshine filling a dark valley.

He defines me.

Everything I am not,

Unselfishness incarnate,

Made sin for me--

That I might be made all that He is.

The mirror forgotten,

I slip my hand in His,

Overjoyed.

"For to me to live is Christ."

Ulovane

Today my mom, Kyle, and I, along with a few other people, got to be guinea pigs for a student field guide at Ulovane (pronounced Oo-lo-vah-nee) Training Center. For her exam she had to take a bunch of people on a game drive. We totally don't mind being guinea pigs, especially when it's all free! So here are some Africany photos from today.

A few giraffe were feeding in the bush, but this guy kindly posed in the road. Interesting fact: when giraffes walk, they move both legs on one side at the same time (so they'll put back and front right leg forward, and then back and front left, unlike most animals which would put back left and front right forward, and vice versa).

The guinea pigs, and the student at the wheel. Oh, and the guy in the left corner is the "examiner."

Playing with my pano settings during their "coffee break."

An elly sighting! I love the flowers.

I actually took this photo when Ashlie and I went for a walk this afternoon here on the farm. These flowers are everywhere! It looks like a purple carpet in some places.

It's days like this where I'm amazed at God's mind. From the lumbering elephant all the way down to the teeny flower, He thought them all up. Somehow spending time in nature makes me realize even more that the God who fashioned everything down to the minutest details is Someone I can trust implicitly.